Cupboard Cleanout

Yay! I finally cleaned my cupboards out. It was very scary. There were somethings in there that I literally did not know about. Now, my shelves are almost empty and I need to go shopping.My goal is to create a shopping list tonight so I can either go during my lunch or after work tomorrow. I am hoping my list isn't too long. There are a few things I have already ordered like LaraBars for my desk draw.

Tax season is coming up and I know I need paleo friendly foods at work, so I don't cheat once the treats at work start rolling. I am also going to need to work on my list of places close to work that I can eat. Thankfully, there is a chipotle right down the road. The one big thing I am worried about is that we get food ordered alot and it tends to be pizza. We will see.

On the Crossfit side of things, I made it in this morning for Morning Mayhem. I needed it so bad and I didn't even realize it. I felt so good after working out. My moods have stabilized and I had a happy good feeling. The only downside is I didn't get much sleep last night so I am tired as heck. I also have been starving all day. So first things first is I am making dinner, and tonight I am planning to get to bed early. I bet tomorrow I am going to be sore as heck but feel so awesome.

Today is the 30 day mark of the challenge. I have 23 "star" days, which are days that I have stuck with Paleo and I have been to Crossfit 8 times. My goals for the next 30 days are crossfit 13 days, and "star" higher then 25 days.

Totally achievable.

its been a rough week

This has been the roughest week I have had in years. The kicker is I bet if I made it to the gym this week, it would have leveled me out. The fact that Ken is leaving has hit me harder then I thought it would, not to mention the pharmacy had trouble filling a prescription which caused me to miss a daily pill for three days straight. I have been on this med for about 5 years and to say it was a shock to my system would be an understatement.

At this point I am just waiting for Ken to get on his flight tomorrow, so I can just get over it. Its not working at this point, and I am hoping once he is on that plane, I can force myself to get back on track. I had a panic attack this morning and it was the first since senior year of high school. It was not a good morning, and I missed going in to Morning Mayhem.

Thankfully, I am doing alot better at the moment.

Once, I drop Ken off at the airport tomorrow, I am going to head into the gym. There aren't any classes going on at that point, but I think I am going to do todays WOD. I double I will do 50 of each movement but 20-25 should be within my reach. We will see, even if I don't do a WOD and just hop on the row machine, it would help ground me.


I hope that everyone is doing good. I have been doing good with the diet I am on day 2 of starting over. I had a 14 day streak, then kept getting a bunch of 3 days in a row, before cheating. I am cleaning out my pantry tomorrow, and going shopping this weekend for paleo food. Wish me luck.

What will stop you from going to a workout?

I know what the answer should be. It should be nothing.

Nothing should stop me from going to a workout. There should be nothing that is more important to me then my health. I would like to think that there is nothing more important to me then my health but the can't be the case.

Not when you look at my track record.I have missed 3 workouts this month, and when you figure I average 3 workouts a week, thats a whole week of workouts. At that rate I am taking a week off each month, and I wonder why I am not seeing more improvements.

So what stopped me from going to those workouts? I know two of them, the other was I wasn't in town and didn't have the time to do a makeup. The other two, were fear. It was simple really, I was scared to do burpee pull ups, and then on monday 150 wallballs. Just thinking about it made me want to puke in my mouth.

But yes it was totally fear that caused me to skip those days. The fear that I was going to fail, that I couldn't do the workout, that I would be there forever trying to finish. All stupid fears, but fears none the less. I need to work on my fears.

There are seven days left in this month and I am going to get 3 workouts in. Wednesday, Friday and Monday. If all goes well on Saturday, maybe even Saturday. I have to salvage this month, and thats not even talking about my diet.

Stressful Times

I am currently in a state of stress, and I don't know when its going to go away. I have a test on Tuesday then I have to start studying for the next one which will be in Feb. My BF is still going to Seattle next week and it will be interesting without him. My job is getting more intense as it gets closer to tax season.

I got a  WOD in on Wednesday and one this morning. That helps. I need to actually hit my goal of 4 WODs in a week. Next week I am going to try. I can't this week, since I only have tomorrow. I am hoping to go tomorrow, but depending on how my studying goes I don't know if I am going to make it. I have been okay with eating. I have been eating out, finding different meals that are paleo friendly. My biggest downfall in this area is that I am stress eating. Its really bad. I have stayed good, but ate a whole dark chocolate bar yesterday. It was the weirdest thing.

I think I could handle the stress if Ken didn't want to eat out at all our favorite restaurants before he left. Not to mention food is getting so expensive. My grocery bill has climbed since I am no longer buying things like rice which was which cheap. I already hit my grocery budget for the month, which is not a good thing.

I am going to have to do something about the cost. Next month once BF is gone, it will be easier since I won't be feeding him.

We are 20 days into the challenge of 90 and I know I have time to get this down. I am doing so much better then December, when I was trying to go  paleo so that is a positive factor. At this point February and March have t go better than January. I wonder if anyone else is having issues sticking to their plans.

Star for Me

I nailed my eating today and set myself up for tomorrow. It feels good to get back on track, it will be nice to step on the scale on Saturday and see some improvement. I did learn an interesting lesson at work today, I need to leave my desk during lunch. It doesn't matter if I have homework or problems to do, I need to leave my desk and go somewhere else. Today, I stayed at my desk to work on some problems for my exam next week, and I was ready to crawl up the walls around 3:30.

I just need a break out of cubical land. I can't wait for it to get nice out so I can go walking at lunch. It puts me in such a good mood when I get back to my desk from walking outside. Anyway, thats a big dream right now. For the next week, I have problems I have to do during my lunch break, and now I gotta find somewhere else to work on them at. I wonder if I could grab a conference room... Maybe. We will see.

B: 3 eggs scrambles
L: Beef Chili
D: Shrimp Curry

Cheating, the good and the bad

Over this weekend, I cheated. I would rank it as pretty bad. I did have scheduled cheats once a month during the challenge. My goal was to not use them.

Friday: Rice
Saturday: Rice, egg roll
Sunday: Three slices of pizza
Monday: Sushi for lunch, two mini christmas cookies

Sunday and Monday were scheduled cheats. The Pizza was suppose to be next weekend when we originally were going to go home. It's my favorite pizza place, its the only place I eat pizza. It was awesome, honey mustard pizza with chicken, and chicken spedie pizza on a red sauce. Type of pizza you really can't get anywhere else. It was so good and I was glad that I cheated. Monday's sushsi was suppose to be on valentines day, but now my BF isn't going to be here so we decided to go for lunch since I have the day off. Again an awesome choice I am glad that we went.

My grandma makes  Christmas cookies each year, and she had some in her freezer for me. I always have her break my cookies into two bags so I don't get all of them at once. So I had an m&m cookie and a black bottom cup. They are my grandma's own recipes, I have been practicing making these cookies for years, and I still don't have it down. My mom made them last year and they were nowhere at my grandmas level. I enjoyed have one small cookie and one mini cupcake thing. It was awesome and part of a tradition in my family. Totally, worth it.

Friday and Saturday weren't awesome. They were emotional eating, the didn't make me feel good or happy to be eating it. Instead, they made me feel worse, wanting to cheat some more since I already cheated.

It took this weekend for me to realize that there are good cheats and bad. Good are special occasions, things that aren't all the time, they are special. Another lesson learned in this challenge. Now, I just have to stay back on track. It should be easier once my BF is gone since I won't have to cook for him as well. We will see. My goal is to I still want to lose 10 pounds, it doesn't matter if I can fit in my black dress for Valentines day now, but it will still be nice to get back in it.

Tough Love and Life Situations

Its amazing how one little, two sentence email can change your life. One moment, living in Albany just doing our thing. After email, BF moving to Seattle in two weeks, with me to follow in May. One moment, going balls to the wall in the challenge. Next, not so much. The big thing is that I am a person with a plan and radical life change made in a moment can  and will stress me out. Stress equals bad eating.

We had to travel this weekend to talk with our families about this big move, thus my diet wasn't strict. I had rice in a burrito bowl on Friday night because if i saw any more lettuce I was going to lose it. Then looking back on it the salad would have been better, the rice just didn't help.

Today I had dinner with my dad to break the news to him, equaled had sushi and an egg roll. Not to mention I didn't make it to the WOD on friday because I needed the sleep. I wasn't fit to drive at 5 am that morning. Not at all.

At the moment I feel very lost, I know I will snap out of it but right now I am floating. Don't get me wrong I am very excited about this move, it just a big thing that came out of nowhere and it is going to take time for me to get used to it. Thanks for sticking with me.

Nine, Ten gotta do it again

Yesterday, was a good day. I ate well and worked out. I finally got Cindy in, which was way harder then I thought it was going to be. It didn't help that my right elbow wasn't happy. It felt like I had just gotten a shot in that arm. It was really weird.

Still, I did so good. I got 12 rounds. I was aiming for 10, so I broke out in smiles when I hit 11 then was like I can get 12. It was awesome. I am so happy to almost be done with the benchmarks. Just Grace is left, which doesn't sound like too much fun.

Today, I did fine with my eating. Besides the fact I ate out and had the same thing for dinner the last two nights.Its all good. I took my test yesterday and wanted to celebrate and tonight my BF finally came home, so I wanted to celebrate.  I am very excited about tomorrow, I can get back to my normal crossfit schedule. Bright and early I am going to be in. It will be nice to see the crew. Till tomorrow then.
Day 9
B: Bacon & Eggs
L: Beef Curry
D: Pulled pork, coleslaw, sweet potato fries, green bean casserole

Day 10
B:pulled pork, coleslaw
L:beef Stew
D: Pulled pork, coleslaw, sweet potato fries, green bean casserole

Day Eight, am I doing Great?

This will be a short one, my test is tomorrow so I feel like I am not all here. Auditing stuff is floating around inside my head, making me feel like a space cadet. I was hoping to get into ACF to get Cindy done, but that didn't happen. I did make dinner, and replace light bulbs in my kitchen so I did something productive. Pretty soon I will be cleaning more of the kitchen. I tend to clean around test days. At this point I just can't wait to get it over with.

I am going to be so happy to walk out of there tomorrow after noon. That will be another one done and officially I will be half-way done. Only, two more to go. I am hoping to do one in Feb, but then I will take a break until after April 15th. The Feb one will be tough since that's cutting into Tax season. I will have to see, and look over study plans on Tuesday to see if I can swing it.

I will say that it has been a balancing act. Keeping my life in sync as I try to change so much of it. I am really happy with how good I am doing, the fact that I already saw progress on the scale is nice. Now, I just need to get my benchmarks done. I will feel so relieved once that's done, I am not a fan of Crossfitting on my own. I like the community workouts. Doing Fran on my own felt weird and lonely. Next time I will move my schedule around and just come in to get them done. Its less work then trying to come in and make them up.

Well, wish me luck for tomorrow. Hopefully, I will be in, in the morning to get a  WOD in. That would be great.

Recipe Time: Salmon Salad

I used this Salmon Salad recipe as a starting point. I changed it up a bit to suit my tastes and this is what I came up with.

1 can wild Salmon (14 oz)
1/2 cucumber diced
1 can of diced tomatos with peppers (16oz)
1 diced avocado
1-2 squirts lemon juice
1 jalapeno chopped
1/2 cup shredded carrot
4 oz can of diced green chilis

First drain salmon and tomatoes. Squirt diced avocado with lemon juice. Dump everything into a bowl and mix well.

For Paleo eaters, serve on lettuce or in a bowl with a fork. For non-paleo eater put in a wrap with lettuce. This was pretty tasty and very quick to make. I ended up eating it will a fork instead of making lettuce wraps which was my plan.

One out of Twelve

One week down and life is good. The scale mentioned that I am down 1.4 pounds this morning which was a very happy surprise. Maybe by next week I will be in the 170's. That would be awesome. I haven't seen a number in the 170s in two years maybe? That would make this totally worth it. My doctor is going to be so happy in April when I have my annual checkups. I figured since that's right after the challenge she would like to see me and check all my numbers again.

I feel so calm today. I took some practice exams, didn't have a sip of caffeine, and didn't workout, My arms and shoulders were very sore from Fran, and I didn't think I could handle Grace today. My plan is to get to the gym early tomorrow and get Cindy in. Maybe I can get Grace in on Monday. IF not, I am not sure when I am going to have the time, and to be honest I will be happy with Fran, Cindy, 2K row, and my stats. While, I would love to win this challenge, and it would totally help out financially, I am doing this for my health. I was to show myself that yes I can even do something wicked hard, that I thought was going to take years, if I put my mind to it.

So, yes I am doing good. Paleo all the way today, although I am going to have to think about the chocolate that I am eating. I only have what I have then once I am out of my supply I am not buying more until after week to. I really wonder if I am going to run out before hand. I am craving sugar like no tomorrow, and should probably cut it out for a couple of days. My argument against it is that I cut out so much already, so I am not sure what to do about it. I am making gain, but if I cut it out could I be doing so much more? Hmmm... I am not sure.

I hope everyone else is doing well with the challenge, and seeing improvements.

four letter word that starts with F...

I didn't go to morning mayhem and I feel like my day started off wrong. I wasn't suppose to go because I am headed in this afternoon when its empty to make up a benchmark WOD, but I still feel off. I love the morning crew and they get my through my workouts. Alot of times I look at the board and it's like they want me to do what. Slowly I have been learning that I am capable of doing the WOD. It helps that I can finally tell that my body getting stronger. Once, I started keeping track of my workouts, it was like I was actually accomplishing something.

But back on the track, the bigger thing is FRAN.
WTF. That was the longest 6:02 of my life. I have no idea if its always that bad or if its because I was upped on coffee and needed to eat. I only used a 35# bar, and ring rows and all I can say is woah... my mind was blown, I actually get why people talk about Fran how they do.

 I have noticed some other changes in me this week. All my thoughts are currently revolving around health, being healthy, working out and things to improve on. Normally, I would be happy as heck that I am thinking of ways to improve my body, mind and spirit. Yet, my thoughts should be on the test I have on Monday. Instead, I am thinking of ways to incorporate more movement into my day at work, or things to do on my lunch even though its freezing out. Recipes keep drifting around in my mind, and things I would like to try.

The year of fitness is big in my mind and I wonder if I will be able to accomplish my goals before my birthday in July. I prefer doing my resolutions and set goals around my birthday instead of the New Year. It usually seems to work better. Starting the middle of summer and ending there as well. Plus, no matter what I get to celebrate. At this point only time will tell and maybe the scale tomorrow. =P

Discoveries

There are a few things I have discovered this far into my paleo challenge and I figured I would share.

LARABARS
Complete and utter awesomeness. Pecan Pie, Coconut Cream Pie, Cashew Chew. I will let you in on a little secret. I loved Luna Bars, but they were not paleo, not even close and it made me sad. Then one day wandering around in the grocery store I see these and decide to look. Someone was watching out for me that day, I don't know what I would do without them. I love them as a mid morning snack a on a day that I have worked out.

Shrimp
Totally on sale this week at Price Chopper, which lead to me making shrimp curry. An awesome shrimp curry, so yummy and simple. It seems I have finally gotten a good curry recipe down. I have been testing different recipes for curry over the last month. Its about time I figured it out.
Butternut squash
Peppers and onions
Curry Powder
Salt seasoning
Coconut Milk, but one the top 3/4 of a can
Shrimp
It came out perfectly, my BF had it with rice and I will say that I was totally jealous. I resisted the rice but it was perfect. Nice and thick, spicy,with shrimp goodness. Mmmhmm, going to have to make some more.

A workout log
I have discovered that writing down my workouts, keeps me accountable and excited. I want to put another entry into my pretty little notebook. I want to see if there is something I improved on or if I have done this workout before. I have been writing down everything since December 1st and I wished I started this sooner. In September I tried to keep track of it online, but it wasn't satisfying and it felt like work. Now, I want to write down what I have been doing. It makes a big difference.

The Day of Five

Today has been a good day. I am doing alot better then I thought I would be. Emotionally, I am in check although my focus has been all over the place. I can't wait to go to the gym tomorrow, and I am wicked happy I don't have work. The day is going to be spent studying, and focusing on my test. I did build in sometime to take breaks and just goof off since this week has been so upsetting.

All in all I am doing good. I learned that I can be very flexible with eating out and it isn't that hard to eat paleo going out. I found out that sometimes things really do work out for a reason, and some steps are a good thing. The last thing I realized today is that sometimes you just have to listen to what your gut is telling you.

My only concern right now is Feb and March. I am trying to not think about it but during those two months we tend to eat alot a couple times a week because of work. By the time I get home I have no energy to cook. Well, I shouldn't be thinking about that now. I have made it Five days, tomorrow will be Six.

Day Four, bring on some more...

I seem to be doing okay. I mean, I am keeping with my food plan, I am working out on days(like today) that I planned. Therefore, that should mean that I am doing good. In reality that isn't the case. I am stressed out beyond believe and keep having really weird mood swings. I am not sure what to blame in this case. I have a huge test on Monday which is a big source of stress. Not to mention all the benchmark workouts have been on days that I don't go to the gym. Add in the fact that all my free time is suppose to be spent studying and yeah, I might be freaking out.

My mind keeps going back to the point that this might have not been the best time to go for a challenge like this. Tax season is starting and I need to stay on track at work, I am trying to get in all the review I need for this test, while at thes ame time trying to eat a difficult diet and get to the gym. I can't even really say it will get better after monday when I take the test because I need to start studying for the next one, which I was planning on taking in Feb. Plus, tax season will just get worse as deadlines get closer.
I keep telling myself to take deep breaths and I am not the only one who has a ton going on right now. I know I can do this and I know I am not going to withdraw from the challenge, but so far this has been a rough week. I just need to keep moving forward, and I really hope these mood swings vanish.

Deep breath...

Day 3, is that a muscle?

So, your not going to believe me. Guess what? Crossfit works. I have been at ACF since I think the end of September. I haven't really lost weight or many inches and I had no idea what was going on. Then my back scratched and it took a moment for me to realize that I wasn't touching flubby fat, I actually have muscles I can feel.

Next thing you know I am trying to see if I can feel other muscles and I can! I have been losing fat and gaining muscle, now I just need to lose the rest of the fat. I feel so dumb for wondering why I haven't dropped any weight over the last quarter. Now, I know and I wonder since I am changing my diet and being strict if I am going to start slimming down a bit. Everyone has been saying I am looking great, but none of my numbers were changing. I guess they weren't joking, I really couldn't tell.

I am so excited. I can't wait for bathing suit season now. Maybe I will fit into my little black dress for the ACF Formal in Feb.

So, back to normal things. I ate great today, keeping with paleo. Today wasn't a Crossfit day but tomorrow will be. I am thinking of buying a speed rope so I can work on my double-unders on my days off. Maybe... That could be fun.

Dang thats one way to start the day...

WOD
I. “Grux”
21-15-12-9-6-3
Hand Stand Push-Ups
*5 minutes rest
II. 5 Sets
3 Rounds
5 Strict Pull-Ups
10 Push-Ups
15 Air Squats
*2 minutes rest between set
III. Tabata Flutter Kicks

I get to ACF this morning for the 5:45 am class and that's what I see. I was half tempted to turn around and just skip. I suck at HSPU's not to mention thats like 15 sets, so like 150 push ups if my math is correct. Not counting the HSPU's that I modify on a box. I totally started at 12, skipping 21 and 15. There just wasn't any way for me to actually make it through the workout.  Then there were freaking pull ups.

Now, one of my goals is to start doing pull ups with a band, but I was not going to go for that on day 2 of 90. It just wasn't going to happen, so ring rows. I am scared shitless of those freaking bands. I made it through 3 sets so 9 rounds total. The time cap was 35 minutes which I hit perfectly. I was totally dead at that point. Then it was Tabata FK for pain. They were the longest 20 seconds of my life and the shortest 10. I wouldn't have made it through it without the people cheering me on when they saw my legs start to stop.

I totally give morning mayhem props for dragging me through today.

Okay on to my food. I did awesome.
Breakfast: omlete with cheese, plus 3 slices of bacon
Lunch: larabar, pecans, clementine
Dinner: shrimp curry with butternut squash

Lunch was small since breakfast and dinner were on the bigger side. Dinner was freaking awesome. I have been perfecting my curry sauce and I think I have finally nailed it.

So, far I am two days down and doing good. The only downside is the my idea of a latte made with almond milk, was a good one. I just didn't like it. Next time I am trying coconut milk...

Day One - One Down 89 To Go

Today was almost as easy day, it would have been perfect if I hadn't slept in as late as I did. There was only one WOD today and there wasn't a chance I was going in. I am not a fan of crowds, not to mention I slept through it. So Fran goes on my list to get done, thrusters and pull ups. Fitting since I would like to be able to do a pull up at the end of this.

Food wise I had a great day:
Breakfast: omelet w/bacon and cheese
Lunch: Salad w/c chicken carrots cucumbers
Snack: pecans, dark chocolate square
Dinner: steak, w/ onion, mushrooms, and a salad asparagus

I am hoping that there is going to be a 5:45 am WOD tomorrow. I think there is but I will have to check later once the WOD get updated. That's my plan for tomorrow, workout early. I am totally a morning mayhem member. Tonight I got to hit up the grocery store and get stocked for the week.

My only big note would be that I really wanted the cheeze-its my BF had with his lunch. I resisted, but I am totally craving crunching things. The pecans helped... I am going to have to keep an eye on my nut intake.